Thursday, May 24, 2012

Time

We spent time here tonight.  

Glory's headstone was finally set in the ground this afternoon.  It has been a long and very emotional road to this completion.  I think it may be because the words "Glory Girl" will never look right on a gravestone to me.  They shouldn't be there.  They should be embroidered on a hot pink shirt that she should be wearing while running around on the back deck with Eliana…

When I found out that the stone was ready, it was already set in the ground.  I was somewhat curious about how I would react when I drove up and saw it.  

And, you know what?  It looks perfect…amazing…cute, even…with pink flowers all around.  It did literally take my breath away at first, but, as I began to walk around and let my thoughts wander, I noticed something unexpected.  

I didn't feel worse…I felt at ease…I was very aware of the fact that the permanent monument standing before me stood to serve as a reminder for generations to come of a very special little girl that would have called me "mommy" if she could have used her mouth for talking and not just sticking her tongue out.  

I have struggled through the last couple of months.  My overwhelming need to hold and touch her rages on.  It doesn't feel like my faith is enough.  But, unexpectedly, as I stared at the dates on her gravestone, I knew that there had to be more.  

She is not here with us…she is not in the ground.  Even though I can not hear Him speak right now…I know He must be there.  I can not deny that there is a Creator…so much good could never in a million years "just happen".  There must be someone that created us and loves us so much.  And now He has His Glory.

No, the dates on Glory's gravestone don't span 80 or even 8 years.  But what most people refer to as the "ending" date on her gravestone of December 11, 2011, is really only the "beginning" date for Glory.  Her stone is a tribute to the time she spent here with her mommy, daddy, sissy, and the countless others who cared for her.  It in no way points to an end...